Monologue/Opening: Graig comments on the story of Rock legend Keith Richards (the Rolling Stones) falling out of a tree and injuring himself. Later, Graig provides evidence that "President Bush" is drinking again and "Sean Connery" tells us how he discovered time travel (he blacked out after getting drunk). Guests: "American Idol" judge, Randy Jackson, gives some insight into the way Idol is judged and offers some opinions on tonights performances. Later, Columnist Connie Schultz talks about her new book.