Dancing with the Stars judge Len Goodman breaks out his big paddle for Evan Lysacek; Cojo's sheepish return to Entertainment Tonight; Joel travels to New York and invades both Live with Regis and Kelly and the fourth hour of Today; Wendy Williams reveals way too much about her vagina; Tyra Banks' rabies-induced fit; Cyndi Lauper takes a detour while trying to make a long story short on Celebrity Apprentice; Spencer acts douchey on The Hills; Wife Swap's zombie-loving kids; WWE Smackdown!'s Chris "Masterpiece" Masters erotically dances his man boobs; Worst Case Scenario with Bear Grylls. Plus, the Kick-Ass Clip of the Week: It's Isabella Rossellini's Green Porno, where she "mates" with a bed bug and a duck.