The crew goes to Italy to work on a cruise ship there. Among the passengers is a family whose patriarch and matriarch (Ernest Borgnine and Shelley Winters) originally came from Italy and accompanying them are their 2 daughters (Candice Azzara and Meredith Baxter) and granddaughter (Marie Osmond). Into the trip, the couple bicker to the point that they're considering separating. One of the daughters (Baxter) is meeting someone on a sort of blind date but, not known to her, is a gigolo (David Birney). And the granddaughter (Osmond), who's been promised to another guy back home, meets a local (John James) and is attracted to him. And Gopher meets a local woman (Christopher Norris), who says he reminds her of someone she knows. While on shore, the man, who's the spitting image of Gopher, kidnaps him and assumes his identity.

Conclusion. The ship cruises to Rome, Capri and Venice as an aristocrat (John James) finds romance; and a married couple (Ernest Borgnine and Shelley Winters) considers separating.

An woman secretly plans to have a child as a 30th anniversery gift for her husband, even though he is ecstatic over their new-found freedom in being retired and, especially, having their older children grown and out of the house; Julie sneakily sets Honey Bee, an old high school friend who always tried to steal her boyfriends, after Gopher (newly smitten with a girl ashore) so that she can concentrate on a handsome new officer; Captain Stubbing wears his hat everywhere in an attempt to keep an old high school flame from finding out he is bald, and she thinks he has a full head of hair because she saw him hatless when he was wearing a toupe for a shipboard costume party.

Psychic Tess entertains passengers and meets Mike, who's separated from his wife. Merrill's friend Jack brags of his son Chip's accomplishments, but Chip has a secret. Elderly Horace worries about his honeymoon with wife Twinky.

A young girl who's infatuated with Gopher pretends to be her older sister. An artist meets a unhappily married guy. And the ship's comic runs into the wife and daughter he left years ago.

A psychiatrist, who is on vacation is followed by four of his patients. An actor pursues the writer of a soap opera, who rejected him for a role on her show. Doc's nephew is making a move on his girlfriend.

A priceless diamond is stolen in Turkey; the crew sets sail on the Aegean Sea; an eccentric married couple insists they know a fellow passenger; a woman is in love with a reporter who wrote nasty things about her mother; Doc contemplates marrying an unwed pregnant woman; a man entices his ex-wife aboard with promises of a lavish photo shoot; Julie runs into an old pen pal who has hit it big in Greece.

Julie's old friend and new love interest pops the question; the secret association between two passengers is revealed; the photographer who tricked his ex-wife to come aboard rekindles the old flame; Vicki contemplates a modeling career; the famous diamond ends up in the ocean.

A father and his adopted son try to evade the boy's biological father; an older couple comes to terms with their future son-in-law's disability; the crew members argue and end up not speaking with each other.

Gopher is trapped in a suit of armor while trying to romance a young lady; the daughter of a woman whose husband was killed by a drunk driver falls for the son of the man responsible; an eligible minister draws the romantic attention of two of his congregation.

A man meets a woman with clairvoyant powers; a single man borrows a friend's daughter to score points with a single mother; Isaac is scared that he is going deaf.

A woman is jealous of her husband's relationship with a surrogate mother they hired. Julie's aunt is shadowed by the executrix of a fortune she inherited. A man's obsession with his robot blinds him to love.

A con man schemes to get his gold past the custom's agents by using a pair of traveling nuns. A young married couple consider separating. A mysterious stranger seems to be able to help people at just the right moment.

A man confesses his guilt to the lawyer who defended him. Two women impersonate celebrities after a booking mix-up. An actress finds love with a man who doesn't think much of her business.

A scheming captain is out for Capt. Stubing's job; two bumbling men compete for a woman's foxhound and her affection; a working-class girl must hide her status from her wealthy fiancé and his family.

Doc feels inadequate when a successful doctor friend is aboard. The children of an unmarried older couple object to their cohabitation. A computer expert finds love with a friend.

A college girl hides in Gopher's cabin as part of a sorority initiation. A feuding couple tries to get their lawyer son to handle their divorce. A woman is reluctant to date after having a mastectomy;

On a Greek cruise, Isaac falls in love and quits his job, the captain is upset when Vicki talks about marriage with her boyfriend, a college valedictorian who finds out his aunt is not wealthy keeps her identity a secret, and a college senior tries to persuade his dean to let him graduate.

On a Greek cruise, Isaac falls in love and quits his job, the captain is upset when Vicki talks about marriage with her boyfriend, a college valedictorian who finds out his aunt is not wealthy keeps her identity a secret, and a college senior tries to persuade his dean to let him graduate.

A girl delivers a singing valentine to a rude man whom she falls for; a secretarial agency owner plays assistant, and then lover, to a writer; a womanizing former pro football star finds love with a straight-laced English professor.

The captain rekindles an old flame with a glamorous celebrity. A woman must decide between her wealthy fiancé and a passionate lover. Two men compete for one woman.

An inexperienced young woman contemplates getting physical; a rude man discovers the man he has been harassing is actually his long-lost older brother; April Lopez is too nervous to take her U.S. citizenship test.

Vicki's friend Mark abuses pills. Gopher's Uncle Jim endangers the job of a gift shop attendant to whom he's taken a liking. Tom travels with girlfriend Stacy but is emasculated because she's better at his hobbies than he is.

Hannah clashes with Jarvis over his son Kent's future. Maid Didi is in love with her boss Greg, whose girlfriend Meredith mistreats them. Gopher persuades Merrill to offer CPR. Retired plumber Fenley argues with son Dwayne over business.

A woman thinks that a dog belonging to another passenger is the dog she lost some time ago. Isaac's Aunt Tanya enters her pet and is pampering him so much that her husband is feeling neglected. Gopher and Isaac get a dog and enter him in the contest but they have trouble training him. And the mail clerk from the dog food company is sent by the dog food company president to deliver some contest information to Captain Stubing.

Noble-winning professor Roscoe's ex-pupil Helen was hired to replace him. Magician Stellini thinks his daughter's suitor Joe wants to steal his secrets. The crew simulates a small claims court for landlady Minnie and former tenant Harlan.

A popular songwriter secretly writes better songs for his former lover than for his wife, both performers. A country star traveling with her "adopted" children has to choose between the kids and her boyfriend. Doc deals with a country-folk doctor who insists on practicing medicine on board, while at the same time chasing her beautiful daughter. A married woman's affair haunts her as she claims an expensive broach is only costume jewelry. Gopher tries his best to get his picture taken with a privacy-seeking female country music star. Two overweight performers who love food come to love each other.

A popular songwriter secretly writes better songs for his former lover than for his wife, both performers. A country star traveling with her "adopted" children has to choose between the kids and her boyfriend. Doc deals with a country-folk doctor who insists on practicing medicine on board, while at the same time chasing her beautiful daughter. A married woman's affair haunts her as she claims an expensive broach is only costume jewelry. Gopher tries his best to get his picture taken with a privacy-seeking female country music star. Two overweight performers who love food come to love each other.

Aged Dwight bilked Henry years ago and wants to see the fountain of youth that keeps Henry young. Newlyweds Cora and Ed are booked into Fiesta Cabin 213, a bad luck cabin for newlyweds. Isaac's widowed friend Gayle has marriage in mind.