Elmer needs a gift for his wife so he buys anal beads. Special Ed wants to buy a CD with a certain song on it.

Spoon Love needs karate lessons before he goes back to jail. Gladys finds a pornography cassette of her sons.

Guest star Snoop Dogg calls to run for public office. And Haddassah gets harassed by a salesperson.

George Zucco has swelling testicles. And Bobby hits an innocent bystander then shoots him.

Hadassah has a perfume rash on her vagina. OCD Ken gets "trapped" in a bathroom and needs someone to repeatedly hit the pound key. And Special Ed calls a farm to tell them knock knock jokes but just pisses one of the farmers off.

Gladys' kids super glue her butt to a toilet seat. Steven calls a talent agency and only does Bobcat Goldthwait impressions.

A blind Stripper applies for college. Birchum wants to get swimming lessons for his conjoined kids at the YMCA.

Bobby Fletcher calls a country store to complain about expired grape soda that keeps making him belch. Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew Pinsky talk hip-hop.

Elmer calls about a gay cruise.

Hadassah Calls a Landfill, Chip calls a hardware store, Kevin and Katie call a bowling alley, Spoonie Needs Driving Lessons, Niles Standish wants a balloon ride, Niles Standish wants a balloon ride, Helen Higgins Calls an Art School, Bobby Fletcher wants to join the Peace Corps.

Special Ed goes out to the ballgame; a sleazy professor calls a co-ed.

Gladys Murphy calls volunteering for conjugal visits, Elmer needs a dentist, Bobby Fletcher wants a new best friend, Dr. Premise can’t speak, Niles Standish is getting married, Ken is stuck in the restroom.

Hadassah tests her boyfriend's sperm; Jeff needs a job.

Bobby Fletcher needs a loan, Elmer can't get out of his bed, Niles Standish needs a new suit, Arthur Johnson gets even, Ken calls a pharmacy, George Zucco Plans a family event.

Terence Catheter calls looking for a stalker for his client George Wendt, Tony Deloge is trying to get a free meal, Birchum's Uncle died, Cammie's been having encounters with the paranormal, A store manager calls a retirement home, Ed calls a library.

Elmer is having technical problems, Adam and Dr. Drew make a best of show for the holidays, Larson calls about a house sitting, George Zucco wants to rent a tape, Agent Tierney issues an odd citation, Adam and Dr. Drew reach out to their listeners, Gladys calls a store.

Birchum needs kids to work around the house, Cammie wants a deal on a rental car, Special Ed likes Donkey Kong, Helen Higgins calls about a film she dropped off, Jeff calls looking for a toy, Concierge gives wake up calls to random hotel room, Danny needs an engagement ring.

Elmer checks his lucky numbers, Dr. Mark Premise looks for love, Birchum applies for a job, Dick Rodgers has a personal revelation, Kevin & Katie call a Butcher Shop, Gladys has some concerns about her son, and Tony Deloge books a speaking engagement,

Niles Standish calls about a new hobby, Samir is throwing a party, Clay calls looking for a gift for his girlfriend, Terence needs a new pair of boots for Hall and Oates, Cammie calls a Gynecologist's office.

Sonny calls delivering a singing phone-a-gram, Katie wants a credit card, Bobby Fletcher calls a retirement home looking for acting talent, Asha gets an unexpected delivery, Elmer plans a reunion., Maria calls about getting some plastic surgery for her 11 year old daughter, Ed calls a man asking if he knows any special people.

Bobby and Billy Fletcher call to make a reservation at a restaurant and Hadassah receives a sexually suggestive toy from her mother.

Bobby needs a locksmith, Gladys calls a breast feeding expert, Terrence needs help with his new boss, Ken calls wanting to hire a bodyguard, Cammie teaches teens about Sex, Ray needs some language lessons.

Birchum calls a Private Investigator,Wally Calls an Exterminator, Stompie Wants to have fun, Hadassah gets a new job.

Niles calls with a complaint, Jack wants to buy a used car, Gladys wrestles with doing the right thing, Kevin wants a new playmate, Theo calls hoping to adopt some kittens.

Tobias gives a free reading, Jim bugs a Pizza Place, Chip fights racism, Ed needs piano lessons, Elmer has a Birthday, and The Truth wants to be a Sportscaster.

Jeff plans a surprise party and Cammie asks for advice on how to date a Jewish man.

Birchum makes Funeral arrangements, Marcia wants to enroll her son in Pre-School, Gene wants to get in shape, Elmer calls with a safety concern, Travis needs some clothes for his Wife, and Ezekiel Magoo takes a stand.

Gladys develops a negative attitude, Katie wants a job at a Grocery Store, Tobias predicts the future, Niles needs a Dentist, Bobby needs a new job, Foreign guy books a Cruise, Vote for Tony Deloge, and a Prank Call Blooper.

Ken calls a paper with breaking news, Tab wants to hypnotize his Grandmother, Hadassah's having a Baby, Ed calls a Restaurant, Cammie wants to learn magic, and Terrence wants to buy some dolls for Demie.

Katie's having a party, Terrence is looking for new artwork, Sonny Tanning delivers a singing Phone-O-Gram, Birchum needs some able bodies, Chip Le Las Comiquitas, Bobby wants to lose some weight, and Hadassah desperately needs a Plumber.