Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide (2004)
Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide (2004)
The whacky adventures of Ned Bigby and his best pals Moze and Cookie at James K. Polk Middle School, as "every-kid" Ned shatters the fourth wall to share tips and tricks on navigating middle school or junior high hurdles. Ned's not super cool, and he has no superpowers. He is, however, witty, well-groomed, upbeat and self-aware. Moreover, with more than a little help from his two best friends, he's equipped to conquer middle school minefields. From crushing bullies to crushes, from off- the-wall, mean and cool teachers to pop quizzes, elections and detentions, Ned knows that nothing, including the seventh grade, is as bad as it seems, and friendship matters most.

User rating:


3x01 Guide to: A New Grade & Dodgeball

25 September, 2006 4:00 am
New Grade: Ned accidentally becomes the new class bully, while Moze deals with a not-so-friendly new English Teacher. Cookie tries to get to know the new no-braces, non-sniffling Lisa Zemo. Dodgeball: Ned must battle the dark side, Loomer and his ‘secret weapon’ in a dodgeball game, and he must do it without Moze, the best player in school!

3x02 Guide to: Reading & Principals

02 October, 2006 4:00 am
Reading: Ned tries ways to avoid his reading assignments, and Moze starts a girls-only book club that Cookie desperately wants to be in it. Principals: Principal Pal is retiring. It’s up to Ned, Moze and Cookie to find a new replacement, or VP Crubbs will get the job.

3x03 Guide to: Popularity & Stress

16 October, 2006 4:00 am
Popularity: Someone has made a list of the most popular kids at school. Ned tries to talk to Susie, even though he is not in the top ten. Cookie hunts down the list's maker to convince him to make Cookie popular. Lastly, Moze finds out she's one of Polk's top ten most popular kids, but still wants to hang out with her old friends. Stress: Ned is stressed because he thinks Suzie has a new boyfriend and wants to break up with him. Cookie is stressed because his arch rival, Evelyn beat him on a test, and Moze is stressed about becoming her English teacher when she grows up.

3x04 Guide to: Dismissal & The School Play

23 October, 2006 4:00 am
Dismissal: Ned, Moze and Cookie must make it to the bus on time; Suzie moves into Ned's locker, which messes with his dismissal routine; Moze and all the other girls are forced to wait to use the bathroom; Cookie accidentally kisses Evelyn Kwong and must avoid her. School Plays: The school puts on a production of Romeo and Juliet; Ned is determined to stop Spencer, who is playing Romeo, from kissing Suzie, who is playing Juliet; Moze, the stage manager, is determined to stop Ned and keep the play on track; Cookie helps Ned so that he can get the role of Romeo.

3x05 Guide to: Halloween & Vampires, Werewolves, Ghosts, and Zombies

30 October, 2006 4:00 am
Halloween: Ned and the gang create a Haunted House for halloween and scare Principal pal to death while he is still in charge of the school. They must figure out a way to hide his death from the other students, or else. Vampires, Werewolves, Ghosts, and Zombies: The gang have become their costumes. Ned needs to avoid summer school by turning into a bat, Moze needs to find another Ghost friend, and Cookie needs to avoid FrankenLumor.

3x06 Guide to: Art Class & Lost and Found

06 November, 2006 4:00 am
Art Class: Art class is in debt, and so the course is going to be canceled. To save it, they have an art show to raise money. Ned makes a Orange Naked Lady painting by mistake. Cookie hires a bunch of 6th Graders to make pots for him for Christmas presents. Moze takes pictures of people without them knowing an exposes many disturbing facts. Lost and Found: Ned discovers a pair of shoes in the lost and found box, and attempts to make sure no one claims them before the end of the day, so they will become his. Moze tries to stop him, and so he needs to figure out a way to make her quit. Cookie loses an MP3 player with a very embarrassing file on it, and needs to get it back before the entire school hears it.

3x07 Guide to: Social Studies & Embarrassment

13 November, 2006 4:00 am
Social Studies: Ned and friends social studies teacher assigns a group project. The two winners get to on to the Capital for an entire weekend. Cookie wants to work with Lisa, but is assigned with his arch rival, Evelyn. Ned and Moze work together, but Ned is so busy with Susie that he blows off Moze, who in turn becomes jealous. Meanwhile, Mr. Wright needs to get enough courage to get Principal Pal out of the Principal's office, for Pal is supposed to be retiring. But he does not leave. Embarrassment: Ned farts in class and is completely embarrassed. He needs to keep from being embarrassed for the rest of the day so Susie wont think he is gross. Moze hurts herself playing volleyball, and is trying to impress a new kid. But she keeps embarrassing herself. Loomer calls a "Pants Cookie" tournament, and now half of the eighth grade is out to pants Cookie.

3x08 Guide to: The Bus & Bad Hair Days

27 November, 2006 4:00 am
The Bus: Ned needs to get to school as quickly as possible to get a love note he left for Suzie that could ruin their relationship. Moze tries to get the new kid to sit with her, but Martin is making it difficult for her. Meanwhile, Cookie misses the bus and needs to find a way to get to school or his perfect no tardy record will be no more. Bad Hair Days: Ned needs to sneak over to the high school to get a free haircut so he will have enough money to take Suzie out on a date. Moze tries many different hair styles to try and get the new kid to like her. Finally, Cookie attempts to get Lisa to notice his very, very tiny mustache.

3x09 Guide to: Revenge & School Records

16 January, 2007 4:00 am
Revenge: When Ned gets revenge on Loomer, Martin notices and gives him names like "The Revenger." All the kids start to ask him to get revenge for them. A girl named Stacey wants revenge on Moze and the Wolf volleyball team. School Records: Ned wants to beat the hallway speed record, he runs into Crubbs. Crubbs marks Ned's permanent record. Cookie loses his perfect attendance award. Moze tries to beat the school record for the most school records in sport.

3x10 Guide to: The Library & Volunteering

28 January, 2007 4:00 am
Volunteering: Ned volunteers at a nursing home and shows an old lady around Polk; Moze volunteers to clean up the school back entrance with the help of Loomer, Crony and Buzz; Cookie competes with Evelyn Kwong in the school store. The Library: Ned and Cookie must solve the mystery of their missing library books; Moze "befriends" a girl in order to get a book she needs for a book report.

3x11 Guide to: Hallways & Friends Moving

04 February, 2007 4:00 am
Hallway: Ned becomes the hall monitor and lets people in violation get off the hook, which leads the students believing that they can get away with anything in the halls; Moze tries to use hallway time to talk to Faymen; Cookie becomes the hallway traffic reporter. Friends Moving: Ned becomes concerned for his safety after the events of the previous episode, so he starts carrying around a pillow, or a "cushion protector" as he calls it; Moze tries to stop Faymen from leaving; Cookie tells Evelyn Kwong he is leaving for Hawaii, so everyone becomes convinced he is leaving; Suzie moves away, much to Ned's surprise and disappointment.

3x12 Guide to: Boys & Girls

11 February, 2007 4:00 am
Boys: Ned goes through a phase when Suzie moves away. The guys try and get him back to normal, so he can continue his guide. Meanwhile, Moze starts a class to help girls with understanding guys. Girls: Ned has a hard time writing more tips when he realizes he has no tips about girls. So he asks Moze to take over for some tips. Cookie dresses up as a girl to find out what Liza Zemo likes in a guy.

3x13 Guide to: Cell Phones & Woodshop

18 February, 2007 4:00 am
Cell Phones: Suzie and Ned try to keep their long-distance relationship, by talking in between classes. Moze gets a new phone she has no clue how to use. Cookie wears a jacket covered in 33 cellphones in attempt to win a Mustang Convertible from a local radio station. Woodshop: Ned and Cookie blow up the art room, and have to switch to woodshop. Moze is entering a woodshop competition. Ned keeps overhearing Moze and thinks she is talking about her feelings for him. Cookie is on the run from a killer saw named "Christine".

3x14 Guide to: Getting Organized & Extra Credit

25 February, 2007 4:00 am
Getting Organized: Ned's locker is a mess, and his brain is too! With the help of Mr. Sweeney, he needs to get organized. Moze and Cookie's favorite snack has been replaced by Powdered Mini Donuts in the vending machine, and they need to work together to get their favorite snack back. Extra Credit: Ned needs to get at least a B- or his mom will get really mad at him. Unfortunately, his average is a C+ in all classes. When asking his teachers how to bump his grade up, they all say the same thing: Extra Credit. Now he needs to complete four Extra Credit Assignments in just a few days. Meanwhile,Moze wants her mark bumped up to an A+, so she designs a very large Volcano and Cookie gets a Credit card that is to be used for emergencies, but he uses it for general purposes.

3x15 Guide to: Fundraising & Competition

11 March, 2007 4:00 am
Fundraising: Ned and Cookie must raise money in different ways after they eat all of the chocolate they were supposed to sell for school fundraising; Moze cannot seem to sell her last chocolate bar. Competition: Ned teams up with Missy to battle Loomer in a Social Studies competition; Moze must find a new rival now that Suzie has moved away; Cookie fakes his way to become Lisa's salsa dance partner for a dance competition.

3x16 Guide to: Making New Friends & Positives and Negatives

25 March, 2007 4:00 am
Making New Friends: Ned tries to be friends with Faymen, Moze wants a friend to go shopping with and Cookie befriends the Weasel. Positives and Negatives: Ned tries to cheer up the most negative kid in school, Moze finds out Faymen's kisses lack spark and Cookie tries to zap Loomer with static electricity

3x17 Guide to: Money & Parties

08 April, 2007 4:00 am
Money: The trio need to raise money for a music festival; Ned borrows money from Missy that he must work off to pay her back; Moze gets her money from hard work; Cookie tries to get money from entertainment. Parties: Ned goes to Seth's party with Missy and tries to ditch her when Suzie unexpectedly shows up; Moze tries to kiss Ned to determine if she'll see sparks; Cookie is not invited, so he sneaks in as the girl named Simone.

3x18 Guide to: Spring Fever & School Newspaper

06 May, 2007 4:00 am
Spring Fever: The school has spring fever, but Crubbs has the building on lockdown; Ned must find a way outside and avoid the affections of Missy, who is hellbent on kissing him; Moze still feels nothing when she kisses Faymen; Cookie must deal with Lisa Zemo after her allergies kick in and she reverts to being unattractive. School Newspaper: The trio join the school newspaper; Ned and Moze cover a controversial story regarding $20,000 missing from the maintenance budget; Cookie becomes the horoscope writer, which he uses to his advantage.

3x19 Guide to: Health & Jealousy

13 May, 2007 4:00 am
Health: Ned suffers from an embarrassing itch; Moze tries to clean up the resuscitation dummy, but she throws it out the window and buries it, and Cookie thinks that it was Faymen; Cookie also is suffering from mood swings. Jealousy: Ned and Moze pretend to date to free Ned from Missy's jealous rage; Seth, Faymen and Loomer fight over Moze; Cookie attempts to make Lisa Zemo jealous by pretending to go out with another girl, but instead, it makes Evelyn Kwong jealous.

3x20 Guide to: Tests & When You Like Someone Who Is Going Out with Someone Else

03 June, 2007 4:00 am
Tests: Ned studies for three tests on the same day with the help of the school's geeks and becomes a geek himself in the process; Moze takes a test to see if Ned or Faymen is right for her and Faymen gets all perfect scores and Ned as a geek gets all zeroes; Cookie gives Evelyn Kwong a "test" to prove that they are incompatible and she decides to date Seth instead. When You Like Someone Who Is Going Out with Someone Else: Ned tries to confess to Moze that he likes her; Moze must decide between Ned and Faymen, while Faymen has a decide whether or not to go back to Brazil; Cookie eliminates all of Lisa Zemo's other admirers so that he can spend time with her; in a surprise ending reveal, Suzie has moved back to Polk.

3x21 Guide to: Field Trips, Permission Slips, Signs & Weasels (1)

09 June, 2007 4:00 am
The school goes on a field trip to a museum, including Ned, Moze and Cookie, even after they have been banned from the field trip by Vice-Principal Crubbs for trying to forge a permission slip for Cookie. Ned tries to spend time with Suzie while avoiding Crubbs; Moze tries to see the wild boy, and Loomer tries to spend time with her. Cookie becomes "the Steel Eagle" to impress Lisa Zemo. Eventually, all three are chased by Crubbs, museum security guards, and samurai actors. Ned then becomes the museum's titular Wild Boy and must choose between Suzie and Moze. He chooses Moze, they kiss, and become boyfriend and girlfriend, while Suzie decides to date Loomer again. Cookie learns of a plan to steal the museum's Wild Boy painting, so the trio gain the attention of the security guards and catch the thieves. Cookie wins a date with Lisa. Meanwhile, back at the school, Gordy tries to catch the weasel with the help of the other teachers, whose items have been destroyed by the weasel. They eve

Video Gallery

Coming Soon...

Photo Gallery

Coming Soon...