Peggy returns home to Montana to reconcile with her mother, only to find that her family may lose its land because of escalating property taxes caused by Hollywood stars moving to Montana.

When an elderly stranger, Ms. Wakefield, visits the Hill residence during Christmas, Hank is thrilled to show her his house since it was also her childhood home. However, when Ms. Wakefield announces that she wants to die in their house, Hank and Peggy want nothing more than for her to leave.

Cotton inherits $10,000 from the will of his friend Topsy, and goes to Mexico, with Bill in tow, to buy a timeshare. Feeling lonely after the death of his friend, Cotton gets suckered in by tales of the timeshare development's owner, O'Kelly, and decides to buy -- even though Americans cannot own land in Mexico. Meanwhile, Peggy, Bobby and Dale search for a pool to swim in.

Peggy becomes jealous of all the compliments Hank gets on his lawn. She tries to put her own imprint on the front yard by starting a garden, and to make it stand out, she buys a large, horrible-looking "Garden Gnome" that drives Hank crazy.

When Dale re-reads the Warren Commission Report, he is stunned to realize that maybe the government was right all along about who killed Kennedy. Dale decides to abandon his anti-government ways and becomes an insufferable flag-waving patriot. Meanwhile, Hank tries to battle through government red tape when his sex is listed as "female" on his new driver's license.

When Hank agrees to take in a soldier's pet, he gets Duke, a vicious, mean-spirited cat. Hank takes Duke to visit Dr. Leslie, a veterinarian who runs a battery of tests and presents Hank with a bill for several thousand dollars.

Hank's co-worker Enrique is having marital problems, and starts spending all his time with Hank. Even though he feels he should stay out of it, Hank reluctantly agrees to help Enrique get back together with his wife. Meanwhile, Bobby tries to unblock the Fox network from the Hills' TV.

When Hank forgets to mail his insurance payment, the coverage lapses for 36 hours, causing Hank and Bobby to go into a state of emergency to protect the house from any major disasters. Meanwhile, Dale decides to raise bees, Bill and Boomhauer discover the joys of deep-frying, and Peggy and Luanne get stuck at a rest stop when Hank won't let them drive uninsured.

When the Tom Landry Middle School football team has to forfeit a game due to poor field maintenance, the booster club resolves to replace the school's elderly groundskeeper, Smitty, and Hank resolves to help him keep his job by secretly doing upkeep on the field. Meanwhile, Luanne starts dating a redneck named Lucky, much to Peggy's dismay.

To pay off her credit card debt, Luanne takes a second job: skating with a roller derby team. Peggy ends up joining the team as well and the two of them get in even more financial trouble when they try to start their own team on borrowed money.

John Redcorn tries to open a Native American gambling casino to provide a venue for his band, Big Mountain Fudgecake.

When smoking is banned in all Arlen restaurants and bars, an infuriated Dale stands up for the smoking community in an act of defiance by going from bar to bar disguised as the smoking bandit. When Joseph caomes to idolize the Bandit Dale tries to keep his identity unknown. Peggy seeks to uncover the smoking bandit's secret identity for the Arlen Bystander.

When Channel 84 hires gung-ho meteorologist Irv Bennett, Nancy and her less-than-accurate weather reports are left out in the cold. Determined to remain an integral member of the news team, Nancy drives a stolen news van into a raging wildfire, aiming to scoop the competition. Meanwhile, Bobby is terrorized at school by a boy who keeps jumping out and startling him. Hank takes matters into his own hands, and is shocked to see that the bully's father is a victim as well.

Bobby tries out for the track team and, to Hank's surprise, makes the cut. It turns out that the coach is using Bobby's lack of ability to motivate the better runners on the team. Hank is mortified when he finds out the truth, and pushes Bobby to succeed.

Desperate to be needed, Bill searches for a new hobby. He joins an all-male chorus, the Harmonaholics, and the guys are taken by surprise but vow to be supportive. When Bill goes AWOL to tour with the Harmonaholics, the guys go after him. Meanwhile, Peggy and Bobby undertake a Pong tournament at home.